The Pain That Made Me Write

Do you remember when I told you about the stories that went viral on Twitter—the very ones that made me stop and think, maybe I was truly born for this writing thing?

It all began with pain, honesty, and a little courage to put my feelings into words. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone; I was simply trying to heal. But what I didn’t know was that my heartbreak would turn into the spark that lit up my writing journey.

So, let me take you back to where it all started.

Here are Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of my heartbreak stories—the moments that changed me, broke me, and strangely, built me into the writer I am becoming.

Chapter 1: When Insecurity Wears a Smile

First of all, never trust a man with low self-esteem; they're the worst.

I met this particular guy on Facebook. He'd been trying to get my attention for a while. His Facebook profile picture was weird and unattractive, so I ignored him. That was during my battle with sepsis.

One day, I decided to respond to pending chats on Messenger, and we started talking. Eventually, I shared my WhatsApp number with him. As an antisocial person who barely talks to anyone, conversing with him brought some closure. Sometimes, I get lonely.

When we started talking, I found we shared similar ideologies, but he had severe low self-esteem issues. He felt I was 'too high' for him (I later discovered he'd been stalking me and my businesses). As a therapeutic person, I decided to help him work through his thoughts.

I first told him his profile picture didn't look great and suggested he change it. Then, I advised him to keep his beard, as it made him look more handsome. He claimed to be broke, saying he'd lost everything and was starting from scratch. I didn't think much of it and decided to help him out financially in any way I could. I started sending him money - sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for airtime. At one point, he said he wanted to join a business venture with a friend but was short on funds, so I sent him the requested cash.

"Keep in mind that I'd never met this guy before, and our interactions were limited to phone calls and video chats, as he lived in Abuja. All of this transpired within a span of just two weeks.”

I don't mind doing all this because I'm a girl who doesn't like to play games. I don't play hard to get; instead, I connect with those I feel a strong emotional connection with. I'm a passionate and caring partner who prioritizes making my loved one happy, as long as they provide emotional support and intellectual stimulation, which is essential to me.

Back to the story, he started acting strangely. He'd get angry over minor issues and block me. There was a time I landed a writing gig that I thought was legitimate. I was excited, thinking my life would change (I even considered helping him start his own business). Little did I know, it was a scam.

After completing the writing job and submitting it, I researched the company and discovered the truth. The job was extensive, and I felt devastated. I started crying. He called me, asking why I was crying. I explained the situation, and he told me to stop crying, saying another opportunity would come.

I continued crying on the phone, and he got angry, hung up on me, and blocked me again. I was shocked. In my moment of pain, I couldn't even get emotional support from him (a quality many Nigerian men lack).

I stopped crying about the scam and started crying about what he did. Later, I called him and apologized for not stopping my tears when he asked me to. Mumu me 😂😂😂

To cut the story short, there was a day he went missing, and I tried to reach out to him. I contacted his friend on Facebook, and that's when the truth started unraveling. His friend exposed him, revealing his manipulative nature. I was shocked to learn that he's even engaged to a fiancée! His friend showed me their chat, and I couldn't believe it.

The story is still long, but all this drama unfolded within just one month! 😂🥲🥲

Chapter 2: Loving a Man Still at War With Himself 

Before I begin, let me share some advice, dear sister: avoid trying to 'save' a man going through heartbreak. They'll likely use you as an emotional dumping ground.

During the drama with the Facebook guy, I met this second guy at our religious gathering. Initially, I didn't pay much attention to him, but I'd often catch myself staring at him, and he'd do the same. 

Before diving into the story, 2024 was a tough year for me. I was diagnosed with fibroids in 2023 and had to have them removed in October 2024. My doctor warned me that I had a 5-year window to have kids before potential new growths. But before the surgery, I was hospitalized with sepsis in June 2024 and needed oxygen therapy. It was a scary time, and these health issues made me feel desperate and vulnerable."

Now, let's go back to the story with the second guy...

So, this guy and I started talking, and we eventually found ourselves in a situationship (since it wasn't defined). He told me about his previous relationship, where he claimed the girl was cheating on him. (However, she later denied ever dating him in front of the DPO, even calling him a stalker).

I consoled him and shared my own painful experience with the Facebook guy, assuming he was an understanding person since we'd both been hurt. Just days before my fibroid surgery, we had a disagreement, and I felt he wasn't serious about our relationship. I then traveled to Port Harcourt for my surgery.

A day before the surgery, he called to apologize for his behavior and suggested we meet up. I told him I was in Port Harcourt and about to undergo surgery the next day. Interestingly, he claimed he was also heading to Port Harcourt to prepare his documents for traveling abroad for school. He even offered to visit me at the hospital before I left the surgery room (completely unsolicited, I might add).

I thought I'd finally met an intentional and caring partner, so I asked my mom to keep my phone on in case he came to visit. I was genuinely excited (poor me, indeed)!

After coming out of the surgery room, I was hoping to see him, but lol, he didn't even show up. To make matters worse, I was reacting badly to the antibiotics and spent the rest of the day vomiting and feeling like I was dying. I had to take a long, deep nap and rest for the entire day.

On the third day, my mind was a bit clearer, and I decided to check if he had reached out or called. But nope, I was the one who ended up calling him, asking where he was and why he hadn't shown up as promised. He made up some excuse about the rain holding him back and claimed he'd come once it stopped (oh, poor me indeed).

Keep in mind that my hormones were all over the place at that time, and I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't control my emotions, and it was a really tough period for me.

I was so lonely in the hospital that I begged most of my friends to visit, even offering to pay some of them (oh, the desperation!). When I got discharged, I assumed he'd come see me at home, especially since we were both returning from Port Harcourt on the same day after all his excuses. But no, he didn't show up until I persuaded and even threatened to break up with him.

Poor me, I was still thrilled to see him when he finally came to see me, even getting out of my sickbed to take a walk with him. I even bought him a beer! I often begged him to visit me(which he still refused), and I started paying for our outings, despite knowing he had money (though he claimed to be broke).

To cut the story short, one day we were out when his ex-girlfriend and the police started calling him, asking him to report to the station. He was terrified, and I offered to accompany him to the station.

When we arrived at the station, the allegations against him were that he had hacked his ex-girlfriend's phone and falsely claimed they dated when they were only friends. He was detained, and guess who bailed him out? Me.

During his detention, I was overcome with emotion, crying about his arrest. Ironically, he was more concerned about his friend who had accompanied us, while I was struggling to stay on my feet -it was just two weeks after my surgery 😭

I gently told him that he had misplaced priorities and asked him to refund the money I'd paid for his bail.

Before we left the station, I had visited one of the senior officers' offices, where I broke down in tears, pleading that an injustice had been done. I explained that he had lied about hacking the girl's phone, as he wasn't tech-savvy enough to do so, especially since it was an iPhone.

The DPO had initially dismissed the case and demanded a hefty bail payment. I begged the officer to reconsider, not wanting him to spend the night at the station.

The officer agreed to reopen the case and asked me to pay what I could afford for his bail

And the case was scheduled for another day.

When I got home, I blocked him, but my mom intervened, advising me to be more understanding. So, I unblocked him and apologized. (What a fool I am).

During the next court case, I had a scheduled job training for a new international company I'd applied to, which offered a great salary. However, I had rescheduled the training to be there for him.

After the case was ruled in his favor, I was overjoyed, and so was he. But when I reminded him about his promise to help me prepare for the training, he became uncooperative.

He said he wanted to go home, and when I pressed him about his promise, he accused me of being selfish and nagging him about things. He claimed he had work the next day.(I really wished this was a fiction story) oh I went home and cried eh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

However, he started acting strangely, making me feel like I was the one begging for attention - hugs, kisses, and dates. It was ironic, considering he'd done the same with his ex-girlfriend.

We fought frequently, and eventually, he claimed he didn't want to continue our relationship, citing that I was mentally unstable simply because I craved love and affection, and that I was a chronic nagger.

That he is grateful for all I did, but he couldn’t continue, I cursed the living daylight out of him and blocked him off

1 month later, I confronted him again, and he finally confessed: he never loved me.

Oh lord, I’m tired with men.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these two chapters—share your experiences in the comments!